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PANDI'S PRAYER

Carrie's heart

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Beauty from Ashes

The emptiness remains, but, the razor sharpness of loss is dulling. What is shocking though, is the vast presence her absence leaves. It...

My toolbelt feels lacking....

I hit a milestone last week. I was wondering when it was going to happen. It was the 3-month date. I switched from tracking time in...

Finding God's Faithfulness

I've always thought my Jesus story was kind of boring...No lightning bolts, no rebellious youth turning to God...It seems I've always...

I can't save, but God can

This is a hard conversation. I'm struggling with reconciling the act of suicide, and my amazing daughter. This is so hard. It's not just...

New Normal...not normal

Well, I went from Thursday morning, until Wednesday night, during worship, without crying. That's a long time. In 11 weeks...that felt...

There's room for both

I'm struggling. Maybe it's the let-down from meeting Sailor. Maybe I'm beginning my third month without Pandi. Maybe it's...grief. But,...

To my village...

To the Village who helped us raise our children; the Village who holds us now... I'm sorry. I know your response, but I still need to say...

I have felt joy again!

Again, I began the day with tears...but today, a trail of joyous tears stream my face. What a feeling...one I've missed for awhile. Joy....

A Daddy's Heart

I want to be mad at Andrea, but my heart hurts too much with love and loss...I can't even be mad. Is this how our Father feels? I have...

Jesus is the Reason...

I'm driven by choices. I'm very conscious of my choices right now, probably more so than I ever have been. Today, I choose... I'm still...

The Right Mom....

I have had no desire to write to you, but today, I do. I NEED to write to you once a week. I feel it. It is necessary for me. It is...

Waves

Today, is Thursday. Four weeks ago, my reality was shifted so suddenly, I couldn't breath. As Rob and I held each other in worship last...

Her story, my story....can I separate them?

Today is hard....Rob says I'm overthinking...more than likely. So, today I write to you. As I said, I'm an external processor so...

I have so many whys....

So, I've been told a couple of things recently... First, there are no rules... Second, from my brother, never change who I am. So, I...

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