I want to be mad at Andrea, but my heart hurts too much with love and loss...I can't even be mad. Is this how our Father feels?
I have watched my children make mistakes, with some hefty consequences.
Watching them, out of uniform, on the sidelines...consequences of their choices. All of them.
I wanted to be mad, but my heart hurt at their pain. At my pain.
Andrea knew this was not the right choice. She knew the pain it would cause. Yet, she chose it anyway. Not callously, but in shame, in sorrow, in regret.
Don't we all do that? Every single time we sin? Knowing that our choice is wrong, yet moving into it...
I feel a tiny portion of the absolute ripping of the Father's heart. I feel it for one. He feels it for all. Over and over again.
Sorrow, grief, disbelief. Love, empathy, tenderness to hold the broken one when remorse hits.
I have held my children in their sorrow; in their remorse. All of them.
I ask my Abba, my Daddy, to hold my sweet one. Let her know she is loved. She is forgiven. She always was...even so...
I can't be mad.
Just heart broken.
I'm going to have to trust my heavenly Father to hold her in her remorse. I know He will. And is.
As well as holding me, Rob, David, Michael...all of us.
Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.