It’s been almost one week since Rob and I returned from a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Nicaragua, with 33 others, to a ministry located just outside of Granada.
I didn’t know much about the organization we were going with. I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that I trusted the hearts of the couple who led us there. I knew them well enough to just go.
We were not disappointed, nor let down.
We were given some instructions on what to have prepared, a 10, 20 and/or 30 minute message. Our testimony. Verses, or our story to tell.
I had none prepared. I had no idea what to expect, what part of my story would benefit whoever was listening; and while I am a teacher, I am not a preacher.
I am a story teller.
I didn’t know what story I was suppose to tell.
So, I just went with a willing heart.
Rob suggested I have some of my Blog posts ready…so I screenshotted a bunch of them.
I went through my journal and wrote down verses I’d written down over the last 3 years.
And then I went.
No expectations.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle 8 nights, and the social aspect with 31 others who I didn’t know, and who didn’t know my story. But, Rob was with me so I was not anxious.
We arrived to the host grounds at about 2 a.m., and my first unsuspected surprise was that we were sleeping in dorms; a girls dorm, and a boys dorm.
A moment of panic set in….that’s 24 hours of being with others…and no alone time. Nor Rob to curl up to at night and recharge.
I was a little bit worried…but God met me right there. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bunk.
The next morning, we heard the heart of the owner of this ministry.
REAP, Granada desired to:
Restore relationship with God first and then others;
Educate on applying God’s Word to every aspect of life;
Activate faith through following Christ’s example by loving and serving others;
Perpetuate the ministry by raising up leaders to carry forward God’s work
with and for our neighbors in Granada.
My heart resonated with this.
You see, this has been my desire my entire life.
I pray you see God in me, in every aspect of my life throughout it’s entirety.
Rob's favorite part of the trip, he told the group, was watching me connecting, ministering, and partaking in life this week. He shared the joy it brought his heart to see the healing in me…
I went to serve, and instead was filled to overflowing.
God’s funny that way….
Rob was seeing a Carrie he hasn't seen for awhile, or maybe ever.
The Carrie buried beneath the business of marriage and child-rearing years.
The Carrie from 1989 in Haiti.
The Carrie from 1976 on the Hippie Colony, at Applegate Christian Fellowship.
The Carrie many of you knew at Cascade High School.
The Carrie before losing Andrea on November 11, 2021.
And that’s when I realized something. My story spans 5 decades.
My story is not one chapter….
It’s not when I accepted Jesus into my heart as a little girl in the tree at our neighbor’s house.
It’s not the day I became Carrie Sorensen.
It’s not the day I became David’s mom, Michael’s mom, Andrea’s mom.
It’s not the day I became a parent who lost their child.
It’s not the day I became a survivor of suicide loss.
While I would argue that the day Jesus became my Savior, is the most important day of my life,
And the day we lost Andrea the most traumatic,
Still, those are parts of my story.
I’ve been stuck in that chapter…understandably so. Losing a child is not something you get over, or move past, but, for the first time in awhile, my eyes were open to a story in it’s fullness.
And I told that story to a group of ladies, both mothers and daughters, and I saw how miraculously the pieces fit together.
You cannot have one without the other.
And, I was able to begin to embrace the parts of my heart that had been lying dormant.
In the homes we were invited into, I could connect. I could minister. And I partook greedily. The joy I felt in that connection, in praying for those ladies in a stage of life I knew….I wanted them to remember the Jesus they saw in me. We prayed for healing. We prayed for strength. We prayed for courage. And we laughed. We shared stories. And my heart was filled.
My story spans decades.
My prayer is that you see Jesus in me through it all.
Because He is the only way I am able to have this joy that overflows in all of my chapters.
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