This morning, two things came to mind.
Melanie DeSimone shared in her blog that she was a grief guide; her heart’s desire was to help those on the path of child-loss…but her’s was a sudden death. She could not speak to long-term illness, suicide or other such losses…
That hit me.
I can speak to suicide loss.
And then, another friend writes every single morning. She shares her thoughts, her heart, her musings.
I was challenged.
I have thoughts swirling every morning, and then they dissipate like the clouds that hang low in the Montana mornings.
This morning’s thoughts centered around the verse I read in my devotion:
Genesis 50:20.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
I even posted this on my social media.
And then deleted it.
I deleted it because I wanted to explain my thoughts….
The loss of Andrea by suicide was intended to harm us. We live in a broken world. Satan uses every chink he can grab.
God did not plan this! But, He did know, and I truly believe he will turn it for good.
Somehow.
I would not have chosen this path.
To be honest, I don’t care how many others are saved because of this. I’d give it all back to have her.
Just her.
There. I said it.
For the greater good, I would not have volunteered for this.
Nope. Not at all.
As much as I love Jesus, as much as I care for the hearts of all of you,
I would not have traded her for thousands….
But here I am.
And I know, I KNOW, I believe with everything in me, He will use this for good.
He must.
He promised.
The miracle of God’s grace is that somehow, someway, God will use this to save hearts.
Swirling thoughts for the day….now I will repost my verse.
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