I asked this question on my Facebook page the other day.
And the answers came back overwhelmingly, "No."
Some wise souls asked:
"What is it that you are loving?"
"Can it be unhealthy?"
Good questions.
In the last face-to-face conversation Andrea and I ever had, she said,
"You just love too much, Mom.."
She said it with a soft smile on her lips,
and grace in her eyes.
I felt loved by her, and free from anything I had done wrong as a mom. And if you are a mom, you know, we mess up a bit. We do so many things right, and in our imperfect human-ness, we also do many things wrong.
So, I contemplated.
Can you love people too much?
I Corinthians 13:13 says, "Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love."
So, straight from God's mouth....the greatest of these is love. I'm commanded to love. If I fail at all else, but I love too much....I'm doing what is asked of me.
Here's the thing though.
I am human.
I love with imperfection.
I love too much sometimes.
I cross boundaries of both those I love, and myself, because I love too much.
As someone pointed out on my Facebook post, people pleasers can have a problem with this.
Yes. People pleaser Carrie, here I am.
"You just love too much, Mom."
I have to be reigned in.
I have to set my own boundaries.
I have to learn to respect other's boundaries.
1 John 4:17 says, "And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect."
It grows more perfect.
It isn't perfect yet.
I'm learning.
I'm changing.
As I wade through the third year of grief, learning what my boundaries are has been a huge lesson.
I am learning what I can, and cannot do.
I am learning my time-constraints on socializing.
And some of these boundaries do not fit others' wants. But those who love well, see and respect that. And take what I have to give. That is being loved well.
But, I'm learning to love well.
And loving well- sets boundaries.
Loving healthy-keeps boundaries.
Can one love people too much?
I don't think so.
Thank you Andrea, for this gift of freedom.
Thank you for loving me so well....