I Wonder if they Know....

I wonder if they know, I'm here to teach,

But I learn more from them.

I wonder if they know, my goal is to support,

But always, they hold me up.

I wonder if they know, I'm suppose to fill their day,

But they fill all the empty places she left in my heart.

I wonder if they know....

The close of the school year, and yes, I am so excited to have summer.

I'm ready to not wake to the alarm,

I'm ready to walk the Triangle with Champ,

I'm ready to ride Ima with Rob,

I'm ready to road trip with Mom,

I'm ready to go to DC,

I'm ready to take a girls' trip,

I'm ready....

But, I'm not ready for the unstructured time,

The holes in my heart that spread to my mind.

The lost time on FB.

That, I'm not ready for.

The realization, every...single...morning...

That she's not here.

And the knowing that God didn't raise her from the dead.

I waited 3 days...and kinda hoped for the miracle.

I thought of Lazarus, and Jesus, and the girl who was "just sleeping",

And I waited....

The miracle I want is not coming.

For whatever reason, He said I'm sorry Daughter,

She's coming home.

This is not the miracle I get to witness.

Instead, I wait for other miracles.

The ones that sit in my room every single day.

The group hugs

The favorite parts of their days

The physical touch at the end of each day from every single one...

I wonder if they know I need that touch?

I wonder if they know they fill my cup?

I wonder if they know how much joy they bring me?

I wonder if they know....