Today is a good day. It's Friday. I made it. It's been a week with a few empty hours. I don't do well with a lack of structure anyway...but now, it's compounded.
But, today is a good day.
I've seen fields of daisies. Entire fields. It was all I could do to control myself from climbing that fence and just sprawling in the bed of daisies.
I don't think I've ever seen fields of daisies before. But my childhood remembers daisy chains, so, maybe in my Oregon childhood, they were there. Maybe they've always been there, and I'm only now noticing.
Because they were Andrea's favorite flower. Every time I see a daisy, I smile. I'm happy. And I'm sad.
It's so interesting how sorrow and joy can abide in the exact...same...space.
I didn't know that before.
Last weekend was a joy/sorrow filled weekend camping with the boys and their families. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. And then quietly walked to the port-a-potty with tears streaming down my cheeks because I missed her so much.
The joy of a camping weekend.
The sorrow of Andrea's absence.
A long, competitive marble game with my cheeks hurting from laughter.
The absence so distinct, a laugh silent, that would have echoed through the campground.
The cheeky grin of a granddaughter.
A striking resemblance to another cheeky grin; 22 years ago.
Creating a space where two worlds collide.
Learning to mold them so they co-exist.
The family I am blessed with.
The family I thought I'd have....
But, today is a good day.
I got up.
Read my bible on my porch listening to Andrea's wind chimes, watching the sun break through the trees.
I did not lose mindless hours on facebook.
I did my browsing, my hellos, and then I moved on. I got my entire week's To Do list done. Well, almost. But it is Friday, and I just couldn't tackle it Wednesday or Thursday.
But I did today.
It's a good day.
I might just climb that fence and sprawl in those daisies.
Yep, I think I will.